Mark Twain quotes

Mark Twain

"There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded."
Mark Twain
People Group Who Things
"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."
Mark Twain
Motivational Getting Started Ahead
"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure."
Mark Twain
Life Success You Confidence
"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."
Mark Twain
Life Good Conscience Books
"A person who won't read has no advantage over one who can't read."
Mark Twain
Education Person Who Advantage Read
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."
Mark Twain
Truth You Remember Anything
"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."
Mark Twain
You Business Time Yourself
"The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up."
Mark Twain
Best Yourself Way Try Best Way
"If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And If it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first."
Mark Twain
Best Morning Job Your
"It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog."
Mark Twain
Fight Dog Size
"Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see."
Mark Twain
Kindness Blind Language Deaf See
"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first."
Mark Twain
Life You World Nothing
"Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today."
Mark Twain
Today Nothing Cannot Happen
"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please."
Mark Twain
Funny You Facts Your First
"Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
Mark Twain
Anger Anything More Vessel
"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."
Mark Twain
You Age Mind Matter
"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company."
Mark Twain
Funny Hell Heaven Go Climate
"Suppose you were an idiot, and suppose you were a member of Congress; but I repeat myself."
Mark Twain
Politics Myself You Idiot
"The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time."
Mark Twain
Life Death Man Time
"Patriotism is supporting your country all the time, and your government when it deserves it."
Mark Twain
Patriotism Time Government Country
"Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest."
Mark Twain
People Rest The Right Thing Will
"When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain."
Mark Twain
Love Heart You Fish
"Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example."
Mark Twain
Good Things Example Up Than
"Don't let schooling interfere with your education."
Mark Twain
Education Your Interfere Schooling
"When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old."
Mark Twain
You Look Getting Old
"Let us endeavor so to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry."
Mark Twain
Die Will Us Live Sorry
"Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint."
Mark Twain
Health You Die Reading
"Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear."
Mark Twain
Courage Fear Resistance Mastery
"I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened."
Mark Twain
Man Great I Am Never Old Man
"Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen."
Mark Twain
Life Age Born Only
"The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter."
Mark Twain
Laughter Human Race Human Race
"We have the best government that money can buy."
Mark Twain
Best Money Government Buy
"Buy land, they're not making it anymore."
Mark Twain
Land Buy Making Anymore
"A man who carries a cat by the tail learns something he can learn in no other way."
Mark Twain
Experience Man Way Who
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get."
Mark Twain
Weather Climate Get Expect
"Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it."
Mark Twain
Forgiveness Fragrance Violet Crushed
"Humor is mankind's greatest blessing."
Mark Twain
Humor Blessing Greatest Mankind
"A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation."
Mark Twain
Character Man Communication He May
"Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society."
Mark Twain
Man People Power Society
"Drag your thoughts away from your troubles... by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it."
Mark Twain
You Thoughts Way Your
"It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech."
Mark Twain
Good Me Communication More Speech
"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards."
Mark Twain
Education God Place Practice
"I can live for two months on a good compliment."
Mark Twain
Good Live I Can Compliment
"Loyalty to the Nation all the time, loyalty to the Government when it deserves it."
Mark Twain
Time Government Loyalty Nation
"Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education."
Mark Twain
Education Nothing College Cabbage
"The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."
Mark Twain
Funny Death Been Reports
"Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live."
Mark Twain
You Your Live Gone
"I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: 'Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together.'"
Mark Twain
Life Together Disappointment My Life
"Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been."
Mark Twain
Age Wrinkles Smiles Been Where

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