Garry Shandling
"It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside."
Garry Shandling
"I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know."
Garry Shandling
"I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead."
Garry Shandling
"Carol Burnett was particularly funny. She swore for the first time on television on Larry Sanders."
Garry Shandling
"First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on."
Garry Shandling
"I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate."
Garry Shandling
"When I don't have a good time, it's usually because there's a stiffness that stifles creativity."
Garry Shandling
"I feel that everything I do in my life I can do in a shorter time than most men can. It's the quality, not the quantity."
Garry Shandling
"I keep my scrapbooks in the car. When I come to a stoplight, I start looking through my past. Sometimes I wish the red lights were longer."
Garry Shandling
"There's a good chance that if you're talking to me when I'm snoring, it means I'm bored."
Garry Shandling
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